Stopping the Conversation
Is it wrong to tell someone that the conversation is leading no where? How would you end a conversation with out making the person feel like you are no longer interested in what they are saying. An example is when I have a student who only wants to come into my office to complain about something, but when you provide solutions or explanations, they are not receptive to it. I find diffusing this type of conversation challenging so the student leaves on a good note. Would it be wrong to ever let them leave on a bad note and try the conversation later to smooth things over?
Shawn, Great questions! I think it's best to make sure the student leaves on a good note. In regards to your question about the student not accepting your advice, it has always been a best practice to allow the student to identify their own resources. This can be done by asking the student, "What are you going to do about this or that?" Put the power in their hands. Make sense?
Elizabeth Wheeler
This absolutely makes sense. The only hurdle I have when they reply with "I don't know", or "I don't care." Then it turns the meeting into a confidence building session, which, not to toot my horn too much, I'm really good at! :)
Shawn, Good for you! It is obvious you care about your students and put the effort in.
Dr. Jean Norris
Transitioning a conversation as opposed to stopping a conversation is how it should be handled.
@smcgowanaolc Shawn, what you're describing sounds very challending, indeed! I would begin by making sure the person knows I am listening to their complaint. I would take notes, and repeat back to them what their diffculty is, point by point. I would express concern over these areas, and show empathy for their frustration. Nod a lot. Ask questions about what they have done so far to pursue resolution, and make notes about that as well. Then assure them that you will pass along their concerns to members of leadership who are in a position to help the situation. You could say, "It sounds like you are dissatisfied with the process of turning in your assignments by noon, and feel there is a lack of communication from your professor regarding requests for an extension of deadlines. You've made several attempts to call and email, with no response, and this has adversely affected your grades. With your permission, I am going to share your difficulties with leadership so that we can examine ways to improve this process for you and all students. Also, I will request that your individual situation be considered to see if there is anything that can be extended to you to help you improve your grade on that late assignment. I would like to share any other recommendatons that you have for improving this process, so please feel free to share those with me. Meanwhile, I want to thank you for your openness, and encourage you to continue to voice your ideas for making improvements." It seems that your role at this point is just to do all you can to receive their feedback with calmness, and allow them to vent, and steer them toward solutions. Good luck!
@smcgowanaolc
i HAVE STATED EARLIER THAT MAKING A PERSON FEEL THAT ITS OK TO BE HONEST WITH YOU AND EXPRESS WHAT THEY FEEL WITH OUT FEELING AS IF THE CONVERSATION WILL BE SHUT DOWN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WAY TO COMMUNICATE WITH OUT FEEDBACK YOU ARE NOT COMMUNICATING.
Openness and trust are key. If you want to regain the conversation, a great tool we always recommend it so simply tell the student you need to "recap" what they are saying to make sure you have it correct. That gives you the opportunity to share with the student that you have listened to what they are saying, and ask a question to direct the conversation. Make sense?
It is important to never allow a student to leave on a bad note. Instead of buying into the students negativity or allowing the conversation to continue in an endless circle of complaints, ask the student; how would YOU resolve these concerns. Our students need to learn to solve their own problems and we are responsible for providing them with the needed guidance and support to be successful.
