Is there such a thing as too involved?
I feel I get too involved at times. I really and truly care for my students. I get like an "instant high" when they get an excellent job. I even helped one student how received a large amount of money and hadn't any clue about the world open an savings account and a safety deposit box. Another student had no place to live and I brought her into my home temporially.
Bringing someone into your home, Stephanie, certainly goes beyond the normal call of duty. How did it work out? Would you do it again? If so, under what circumstances?
There are many times when I would like to do more for those students that have personal issues. After teaching for a few years, I now try to keep my involvement at a more professional level. I have helped my students get the strength to enter rehab programs, relocate to safe houses when they are in danger, find child care and counsel them when they are discouraged in day-to-day life.
Yes we want to give our all to our student but there is a fine line. You have to know where to draw the line. Getting involved in our students personal lives happen but the extent should not be any further than in school.
Sometime it's hard, Rochelle, to find an appropriate balance between the many roles that faculty members play. When is it appropriate to intervene and when should we stay out of a student's personal affairs? I would be interested in learning whether participants' schools have developed any guidelines.
Donna, does your institution have any guidelines? Is the topic covered in new faculty orientation or faculty in-service training?
Student support services also come into play, Donna. Students who have issues that go beyond the normal relationship with a faculty member may be able to get support from others in the organization.
Yes, You can get to involved. There has to be some distance or you will get sucked in and be of no use to any of your students.
How do you determine when to get involved and when to maintain some distance, Efrain? What is the appropriate “distance�
I feel the same...I really care about my students overall...I love when they really get involved in their studies...I dont have to tell them when to study...they bring back new ideas or want to do a project. Watching them grow as a person can be so rewarding. I try not to get involved in my students personal life...but it is hard especially if it's causing them to lose focus on school. I have given students money to get back and forth to school( lunch money) and try to counsel them along with another staff members(DOE)...just to try to keep that line of
professionalism.
Sometimes it's very hard to maintain that line, Davida. Keep up the good work.
Sometimes when you get too involved,you can wander away from the things you were trying to acheive in the first place.
I feel when we get personal sometimes we are too involved. We should make sure the student is safe in their enviroment, but as far as bringing them home you should draw a line.
How do you determine where that line is, Marion? Is it different for different students or different faculty/staff?
As most of us have stated in discussion here, there is a fine line. Remember, they came to us not because they didn't know they had a problem, they didn't know how to solve it. I believe most students want to know how and want to be given direction...they don't want us to perform the fix ourselves. I like to give suggestions, probe so I can promote open communication, but I never give the suggestions as ultimate answers. Give them the tools to decide. Document everything. I've been in situations where you give a kid a hug because you know they are hurting and the next thing you know you have a stalker situation. Be careful...care, help but be professional. I'd love to feed everyone of them, get gas in their cars etc., but eventually, I'd be in the same boat as they are now. If you can't do it for all, don't do it for one...as hard as it is. I know I wasn't in the shoes of the one who brought the student home, but I'd be real nervous about how that could evolve into a potential lawsuit real easy. Also, can you do that for every student?
Good points, Tammy. I've never liked the phrase about no good deed going unpunished, but sometimes it seems true. People who are in pain may lash out at those who are trying to help. Hopefully, people will heed your advice and won't be deterred from continuing to serve students even if they become targets of the student's negative actions.
Would getting involved help retention? The student might want to stay in class because the teacher went out of their way and really showed interest. Or it could back fire and the student will rely on you for everything.
Yes. Engagement with students is an important retention tool. Going out your way to support a student is not the same as taking over the student's problems. The most valuable help teaches the student how to clarify the problem, identify alternative solutions and then encourage them to act. If they rely on you for everything you aren't helping them.
I have worked as a therapist for years before
working in an educational institution. It is hard to work with many of our students and not feel connected and want to help. However, the more years of experience I have learned better boundaries for self preservation. Bringing a student in to your home could lead into a bunch of liability issues. I am curious as well, did it work out. What is your school policy? Could you get fired over this?
I totally agree. sometimes we learn the hard way. i remember when i first started counseling I was not able set limits and boundaries as well as now. You definitely learn from experience. My approach with students is similiar to yours. I do not believe it is always helpful to fix the problem. As parents if we always fix things for our children they never learn to make healthy decisions on their own. Giving our students choices and seeing them successfully problem solve and develop resources on their own is a great gift. When this is done you see students feel more independent and watch their self-esteem increase tremendously.
