Pride
I happen to have a student that is in a wheelchair, and this goes without saying, but he is slower than the rest of the class. When the rest of the students offer him help, he always refuses it, sometimes to the point where he becomes angry. Then when I offer him help, he almost seems to accept it because I am the instructor and then almost shuts down, as if feeling broken or not good enough. I really don't know how to approach him.
-Gabriel Alvarez
Gabriel,
There is an old adage that, for people with disabilities, "sometimes they need time, not help!" It is never inappropriate to offer assistance, but it IS inappropriate to insist that someone use help if they would rather be independent. Try asking "would you like some help or do you have it on your own?" If he says he doesn't need help, then let it go. And be patient while he finishes!
Dr. Jane Jarrow
Students with disabilities often do not want anyone to help or assist them. However, I often tell them that We as a team are here to help you. Once the student warms up and earns your trust, he or she should open up. I often have to explain to students with disabilities that I once was in special education myself and look at me now. This often give those student motivation and the incentive that no one is here to look at you different, but woul like for you to feel just as equal as everyone else and by helping nad assisting you we all can overcome any obstacles.
Vatina,
I think you have hit on the key strategy -- treating the student with respect and making it clear that you believe in their potential. Once students come to see that institutional personnel have faith in them, they often are more comfortable about accepting needed assistance.
Dr. Jane Jarrow
I am not sure we can say all students with disabilities do not want help. Some may and others may not. The key is to assist when needed and allow for maximum independence. I agree we should ask if they need/want assistance and allow them to have the say so. For the lady who stated the student who uses a wheel chair I would hold a conference with him one on one and simply ask him what he wants and how he feels. Ask him when he wants the assistance or not. Also a small non verbal cue that he may need assistance from you could be developed between the two of you. Good luck :)
