Unwanted coaching
If coaching is a two-way process that relies on collaboration, what happens if a direct report doesn't want your coaching? Perhaps they feel they can handle their learning on their own? I understand that the direct report needs to be prepared for coaching by comparing his current competencies against those required. But still, there are those that are resistant to changing their methods. Is this just a case of an unsolvable performance problem? In that case, do we just let them fail?
Deborah,
My opinion would be that this is not a "coaching" situation. Now, I will admit that I have a fairly narrow definition of "coaching" compared to some people. To me, coaching is a situation in which we are really focused on the long-term development of the other person or helping them overcome an obstacle/barrier to their success. However, this is based on their own desire for & seeking out of the "coaching."
To me, this situation describes a performance problem, not necessarily unsolvable, but yes a performance problem. I am assuming that there is a concern with his current performance & further training or development is needed? If so, then this is a much more direct conversation than coaching & he needs to be confronted with this reality. On the other hand, if this is a situation in which he is performing fine, but you personally feel he could do better if he furthered his training, etc & he doesn't want to, then I would say you have to let it go. If he is at least performing up to standards, then there's not much you can do if he doesn't wish to get better. I hope that makes sense, please let me know if you have further questions.
Ryan
It's up to you to set a tone of your outfit is a my-way-or-the-highway place or one that fosters collaboration and mutual support.
One option is certainly to postpone coaching until the direct report seems more amenable to the idea or actively seeks out your direction and support. Another potential option is to have a way for employees to self-evaluate that is designed to help them investigate their strengths and weaknesses on the job. Coachees are more bought into the process of coaching when they are able to identify the areas in which they need to improve. Assessments can help foster self-awareness in a way that is less attacking than the coach giving opinions and advice. The assessment could be set up to reflect different categories pertinent to being successful on the job. An employee who utilizes this self-assessment may then be much more open to coaching upon reviewing their answers.
This is definitely not a coaching opportunity. To have a coaching session the coachee must agree that he needs help in this area and be willing to receive the help. If he insists that he does not need to change his methods then it does become a performance problem. I think that after the initial offer to help coach, the employee should be observed to see if he makes any changes on his own before approaching him again to discuss his poor performance.
A difficult student can make a teacher’s life miserable. How to teach a problem student or a student who has management issues can make teaching seem impossible. And every situation you come against will be somehow different than anything you’ve ever seen (and different than the other teachers and principal have faced – though they’ll give you plenty of advice) The funny thing about students is, they are all different, and they are all the same. No situation will be exactly the same as another, but there are basic rules you can figure to follow with every student out there.
I think that you are right on the button with this response. I would like to add that some people may see accepting your offer to coach them as a sign of weakness or feel as though you think they are incapable of doing their job. in some cases their performance may get worse as they have now become angry and this could lead to it becoming a disciplinary concern.
John,
Yes, in fact it can almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy for them: they think they are being coached because they're in trouble so they act on that belief & then they really do need performance counseling/discipline. We need to make sure that others understand what we really mean by coaching.
Ryan
I think this is a great approach to a difficult situation. The additional observation is appropriate and fair giving the employee a chance to change the behavior even if only indirectly in response to your efforts or direction. Sometimes it is pride other times it can be insecurity or lack of respect for the manager. The need to fix the problem doesn't change but sometimes understanding additional perspectives can make finding the best solution more available.
Sort of off topic, but not too far. If a manager believes coaching is having a conversation with a subordinate who they believe could have dealt with/handled a situtation differently, and giving them advice on how to handle it in the future...how is one (the subordinate) supposed to take this?
For instance, let's say a subordinate is a manager (Joe), but of course has a supervisor (John) themselves. Joe handled a situtation as he would in any other case and has done in the past, but his supervisor, John, spoke with him about how John would have handled it and wanted Joe to deal with things the way John would.
I thought coaching was not about "doing it my way" but rather about "how you can do it your way, the best way you know/learn how."
I have dealt with similar situations acting as both the coach and the coachee, where my coach recommended I change my personal coaching methods with students. In my situations, the best remedy is always open and honest communication. Sometimes as the coachee, I get the desired results, but not the way my coach thinks it should be done. It definitely took time and a lot of conversations, but once my coach saw that different wasn't necessarily wrong, we could collaborate on the best way to handle situations. Finding a coach who is open to listening, communicating and realizing that sometimes having multiple ways to achieve something is better than only their way, can work quite well.
