Going Below The Line
Have you found yourself “going below the line†when asking questions of others? Describe what happened.
I have found my self going below the line. Often times a student will make it clear that their financial situation is tight, but they will ask me if " I think they should make a large purchase". Often times, they're thinking about purchasing a project car. It seems to me that asking them, if they're sure they can afford the extra expense, would make them look at all of the pros and cons of purchase. Thus helping them make the "smart" move. Am I wrong in this line of questioning?
Kolt, Great question. Below the line does not necessarily mean that the answer will be positive. The idea with "staying above the line" is that your question does not put the person on the defensive or make them feel judged. Given that, how can you rephrase your question to eliminate any judgment?
Dr. Jean Norris
There have been times that I catch myself asking questions below the line. This typically happens when I see myself becoming defensive.
When we go below the line, it prevents the conversation to have a positive resolution, if one at all. The student instantly becomes defensive and closed off.
Patrick, Very true, so great awareness on your part. Being that you are now aware, how have you kept your questions above the line?
Dr. Jean Norris
Staying above the line requires a bit longer pause before asking the next question. I really think about the response before I ask the next question.
I find myself much more self-conscious in how I ask questions in my professional life than personal. I've definitely asked below the line questions with family and friends. Not that it's okay! It never goes over well. The person always tends to respond in defense.
Patrick, Interesting! I would like to add that staying above the line doesn't mean that the answer won't be negative. Knowing that, how can you reframe some of your questions?
Elizabeth Wheeler
NaTesha, Great awareness! Now that you are aware, do you think about how to reframe your questions to keep them above the line?
Elizabeth Wheeler
I have found myself asking below the line questions when a student has become defensive or a little below the line with me as well.
Not too often, but when I have it has always made the student defensive and harder to work with. Now when a student begins to go below the line with me I take a step back and remove myself from the conversation.
Tierney,
Thank you for sharing! What can you do to make sure you stay above the line?
Dr. Jean Norris
I found my self going below the line when I ask the student "Didn't you bring all the documents?"
by asking this way i put the other person on the defence , i should ask in a different way.
Ricardo, Great awareness! How would you reframe the question?
Elizabeth Wheeler
I find that sometimes you need to go below the line when the conversation turns into one where the person is recognizing a current situation that they are not happy with but they are unwilling to explore solutions. Sometimes it helps to snap them back to the conversation and understand that they are their own solution to the problem. This results in the student now understanding that you are really there to help them and you can understand their point of view. Mostly this happens when a student is complaining about their current financial situation. They know that they going to school will help to fix that problem, but they are scared to take the jump. I can then show them the support that is offered by the campus and talk about past students who were in a similar situation.
