How can I relax when constructive critisism is given?
What if the manager giving the constructive critisism does not have the right facts, and you are being mis judged, how can I approach this situation?
Listen and absorb everything they are saying. Listening and clarifying is the best answer. Also, keep records, kind of paper trail.
I would listen carefully, and then acknowledge your confusion to feedback. This would give you a chance to explain the situation and why you are so confused since his facts are wrong.
listen,listen,listen, then make sure you get the correct facts before you continue. a coaching session is based on truths make the necessary time to get your information and make this a continual process.
Make an appointment and schedule a block of time with the manager. Outline the facts before the meeting and provide a copy to the manager, explain the events as you see them and present your case. The better prepared an employee is the more confident I am with the final descision we conclude with. You are both part of the solution and should own the process. Most important is to remain calm and true.
Carlos,
You are slightly vague in your description of facts. Feedback is ones professional opinion based of observations. Every observation has two views; the observers view and your view. Open your self up to the notion that just because the observers view does not match yours it does not make it wrong. Try to find the commonality between the views and take it from their. Feedback is supposed to be a growth tool.
My personal experience is to not take it personal and take a deep breath regarding the situation. Keep a log of events so that you can dot your I's and T's in any situation. Getting critisism is always hard to absorb in anygiving situation.
The best way to respond is to 1) wait to react until the manager is done speaking 2) state that you would like to discuss more in depth because you don't fully understand the information 3) paraphrase. If there is still confusion, I would then discuss the facts to the manager (making sure to keep emotions out of the conversation) and then wait for a response.
Start by taking a deep breath and realize that ultimately you will take away with you valuable learning info. Then listen to everything with out letting your mind wander on setting up a response at that time.
If during constructive critisism facts are mistated let the person complete their critisism and calmly reply with facts and ask the person to take this new information into consideration.This may or may not change the critisism.
I know its hard,but don't become defensive.It is very hard to grow,or to move forward if we become stubborn.
I agree with this... especially keeping a paper trail. :-)
Paper trail is good. I keep all emails from everyone in my company
Take notes keep all e-mails and keep a paper trail to refer back too.
Agreed...the key is active listening and to refrain from responding or reacting in an emotional way. Wait until you can look at things objectively.
I am in complete agreement. One must relax and listen to everything that is being said. People tend to get defensive and make issues bigger than what they actually are. Keeping records is a smart thing to do, and with the technology we have today in the workplace today, it makes this even easier.
If you feel you are are becoming defensive and not relaxed, I would ask for a minute and come back with your records, to back up your point of view.
Through constructive criticism develop other values: loyalty, honesty, simplicity, respect, friendship ...
I think you have to listen to what is being said and what "facts" are being criticized. If it is based on your performance, then it is up to the manger to determine whether or not you are performing to the company's standards. You can probably ask the manager if he or she is criticizing you based on his or her own observations or based on what others have said. I think being direct is always a good thing because you don't want to assume things and make it worse for yourself, if it were a bad critique.
