re: when do you let go
An open question...when you have tried all your tricks of the trade, have used all your tools in yours and your colleagues' toolbox, exhausted all your resources (both internal and external) and have spent endless hours - both awake and in disturbed sleep - to help a student maintain the path to his dream with little to no success...is it then time to let go?
Marty,
I think if you've honestly done ALL you can, it is best to let go. There is a point at which consequence must be allowed to teach students things we cannot. Sometimes we stand in the way of consequence doing and teaching things that we cannot teach certain individuals. It can also become emotionally unhealthy for us to continue to try to fix a situation that is and should be out of our hands. I beleive there comes a time to move on and find someone who we CAN help.
Tom
You,re right! there are some, like one I had in my last class, thathad his mind made up that he was going home for the phase. I backtracked the path that was given to give him help and got a different story from everyone he had talked to. He clearly led all to believe he wanted their help and was grateful, yet there was always one more obstacle in the way, he wanted to go home more than he wanted to be here.
I Really Agree With You Marty 100%
It's all you can do, short of doing the work for them. Some students come to me wholey unprepared for the tasks that will face them and slowly, one by one, I can help them lift themselves up by achieving a sequence of small victories. These victories build their confidence and before long they're on their way. Good Scenario! Bad scenario is that no matter what I demonstrate, what resources I make available, which students I have work with them or what conferences I set up for them. They still show up late, fail tests and do substandard work. I often consider my self to have failed them, because I haven't been able to reach them or change their behavior. But, I have done all I can do and ultimately, it is they who have failed themselves. Harsh I know, but there comes a point where they have to assume responsibility for their own success of failure.
Personal responsibility is indeed one of the primary competencies to be learned in college. You seem to be on the right track, David.
There is really only so much we can do. I have encountered students who just did not want to be in school. There parents are paying for it and convinced them to go and there harts are just not in it so they refuse to put the effort in to get to school on time and study.
yes, you can not want the education more than the student.
I do think there are times I want the education for the student more than she/he wants it. Like Marty says above we will do all we can, above and beyond, and are still reluctant to stop even though the student is not participating. Then I have to ask myself while I am spending 80% of my time on this one student how many students am I missing that may respond to my encouragement and guidance and be retained.
I believe that when you have exhausted all the avenues towards success for the student it is time to let go. The sad thing is that an instructor can't want a student to be successful more than the student does. We have all had students who have made promises that weren't kept and swore that they would fufill a committment and didn't. There comes a time where ethically you cannot keep a student any longer. It is unfair to the other students.
