Get Your Students Hired
Thank you Warren. I agree 100% with not allowing isues to become personal with regard to student issues. We can't pretend to understand the issues that come into our classes and be able to handle them all in three weeks but we can plant good seeds. If they sprout good outcomes have a chance.
These are great ideas and they work well if you have the time. Unfortunately we only have the students for three weeks and then thay're off to an other course. I often get students who are negative and confrontational. I often use humor to help defuse the situation. I make sure that any comments are not personal and that, ultimately, we decide how we want to perceive things. I have taken some very difficult students and been able to get through to them in the end. The key is not to let it become personal for you and to be respectful in your comments.
Hi Robin,
What a great story to share with all of us. It is examples like these that give us the encouragement to keep trying no matter how hopeless it may see to be at times.
Your ability to establish rapport with the student was what made the difference, since you went the extra mile.
Keep up the good work. You are leaving a legacy of caring and professionalism for the next generation of career students based upon what you did with this student.
Gary
In many cases, attitude is used to cover up fear. It may be fear of failure (so blame someone else), or it could be fear of rejection or ridicule or a combination. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs suggests that if the basic needs of security and safety aren’t met (causing fear to increase), growth and learning are diminished. From your description, she sounds like she is in attack mode much of the time. You mentioned this student twists your words around and accuses you of putting her down which, in turn, is causing you to second-guess how to deal with her. Would this be a fair assessment? I’ve had students with similar behavior, and one in particular who tried to use her attitude as a tool of control: for example, a way to control how you interact with her, to keep you at a distance, and a way to control the perceptions the other students have of her.
Dr. Meers’s suggestion of a private talk is an excellent place to start. In my case, a private conversations turned out to be a stepping-stone to building enough trust where she did not feel the need to be in attack mode. Sincerity and consistency on my part were necessary. When my student was absent, I called her, let her know I missed her in class and reminded her of what we would be doing in the next class. At first, I left voice-mail messages because she wouldn’t answer my calls. When she returned to class, I greeted her and again let her know she was missed. It took a few weeks into the quarter for her to relax enough to ask for assistance when she needed it, but it was worth all the struggle. She started calling me to tell me when she wouldn’t be in class, and she still stops by to say “hey.” She is one of my success stories. Not all students will respond favorably. Some are just to scared and their behavior is an ingrained response.
I have found that a lot of students that have an attitude do so to put on a show or to up hold an image with the other students. This may also be a reflection of the students home life. Sometimes this gets so extreme that the student may do so with out even thinking about it. In any case it is usually best to defuse the situation by pulling the student aside or in private were you can communicate one on one. If a student is continually taking offense and having an attitude, this may be a cry for help. I feel that no one truly wants to have a negative outlook or, bad attitude at all times.
Wow! I have so many students with attitude. They always have witty comments or twist my words around. After I spend a few moments correcting what misunderstanding took place I always end it by saying my intentions are not to offend you or anyone. Sometimes I grin and ignore it. Other times I feel as if I must step aside and talk to the student individually. I feel almost always I must talk to my supervisor and make them aware of the situation as well. Some students will have a little attitude and some will have a lot of attitude, each time it is difficult but sometimes just talking to them individually helps!
Hi Deborah,
You key phrase for this student is "her attitude is holding her back". She is determined to place the blame for her failure on someone or something other than herself. She is looking for reasons to fail.
I would suggest that you talk with her privately and try and determine why she receives all messages as negative. Ask her what does it take for her to see things in a positive light. Her answer(s) will give you insight to her situation.
Don't let her bait you into situation that will not have a positive outcome. Show her the positive parts of the work she has completed and then explain step by step the places where she can grow in her skills by completing certain activities.
If all of this fails then you may want to suggest that your course is not an appropriate place for her and that she might want to consider other options for training. As an adult she did choose to enroll in your college so she has to assume some of the responsibility for her success.
Gary