Willingness to accept change
How do you coach a person who is set in their ways and not willing to accept change? We have had many changes over the years and certain people have set habits and routines.
Is there away to explain that change can be a positive thing?
This is definitely a difficult challenge. Yes, you can explain that change can be a positive thing,however that doesn't mean the other person will listen.
To be honest, I'm not sure you can coach such a person. I believe the coaching relationship is a two way street & both members must come willing & ready. If the other party is not open to change, then there I don't think you can coach them. At this point,to me, you must shift to managing them.
Ryan
Many see change in the workplace as a negative. When trying to motivate a teammate into a new venture it may take me multiple coaching sessions to convince them the importance of the new path. Obstacles pop up at various points in the process and each time I assess the best course of action and try again – making sure to identify the progress and use that to build up the relationship.
William,
Yes, change is a difficult & often slow process. I applaud you for taking your time & working through this. Too often we try to steamroll others into change when they aren't ready.
Ryan
I believe in the what's in it for me mentality. You've got to show the person that there is a benefit to the change. Usually, a person that's set in their ways can be reasonable if they see a benefit to their particular situation.
Norman,
This is so true. Asking them what they want to achieve in life or get out of this situation can help in showing them how this can benefit them.
Dr. Ryan Meers
I read the book Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson. Buried in a very cute story about mice is a great lesson to share with people who are resistant to change. Change will always happen. Anticipate that nothing ever stays the same. Move with it, not against it. Prepare yourself for it. Monitor it. Without change, things get old and stale. The quicker you let go of old things, the sooner you can enjoy what is new.
Savor the adventure and enjoy the change. The book tended to call change "the cheese" but you get the point. : )
Often time is the best tool a coach can use. People need time to digest the change. I know I need time when change is suggested.
Holly,
That is a great little book. And I like to quote Ron Heifetz regarding change: "People don't fear change, they fear loss." I think if we can tap into what they feel they are losing in the situation we stand a better chance of helping them with the change.
Dr. Ryan Meers
Louis,
This is a great point. When coaching another & something significant is proposed/suggested, I like to give the person time to sit with the idea & let it soak in a little; this may be a few minutes, hours or days, it all depends.
Dr. Ryan Meers
I guess the hard part would be how long or how much time untill you go into the manage mode if they do not accept the coaching.
Steven,
I agree that this has to be carefully monitored & you have to know when to switch hats & it may be in the middle of a conversation.
Dr. Ryan Meers
There is a lot of merit to that quote. Change can evoke different emotions for each person but the fear of loss seems to be one of the most prevalent. Whether it is fear of losing "the known," fear of losing their say, fear of losing control over the future, etc., the perceived anticipated loss can hinder the individual's ability to be open to change. I have experienced this with team members in the past and have found it helpful to first reflect on times past when the individual has experienced positive effects from change regardless of how seemingly insignificant it may have been (e.g., Coffee pots were banned from individual departments without notice; however, a new coffee service was implemented such that free gourmet coffee is now available 24/7. What was initially frowned upon as unfair ended up being a win for all). You can then build upon these experiences to explore what's behind the resistance to the specific changes in question and explore the possible positive outcomes that can result from those changes. Granted, not all changes result in overt positive outcomes but typically something can be found to warrant the change. At the least, being honest in acknowledging when a proposed change is just crappy can help create the buy-in needed to proceed with the change. In my experience, being honest and transparent as much as one can be, can go a very long way. The other part I find helpful is empowering the individual to take an active role in making the changes. This can be done by soliciting the individual's feedback, requesting and following through with his/her proposed ideas, supporting alternate views, etc. Reinforcing the individual's efforts will in time effect the desired results.
Liane,
well put! I also try to remember to mentally acknowledge that these are very real emotions for this person, even if I'm having a challenge in really identifying with them. Nothing is worse than telling them "don't worry about it." They are worried & we need to work with them starting at that point.
Dr. Ryan Meers
Absolutely. It's always good to remind oneself of that as it seems collectively we have a tendency to disregard other's feelings. It's not done with ill intent. On the contrary, typically we do it in our minds to help make the other person feel better but it does not have that effect. We do that with children all of the time. How many times have you seen or heard a parent turn to a fussy child and say, "Oh stop. You're fine." Good lesson for us all.
Liane,
emotions are very real for all of us, we must acknowledge this.
Dr. Ryan Meers
I agree with you, most people who won't accept change don't really fit in with the team player mentality it takes to work in education. In my past experience with these types of people, I find that most will eventually move on.
On our campus we have had a great deal of change. It is always best to talk about it and try to gather ideas. even if those ideas cannot be implemented it gives people a sense that the change is not being forced upon them without their imput and should allow for greater acceptance.
Marc,
yes & really connect with where the fears & apprehension are. Remember, people don't fear change, they fear loss. What do they believe they might be losing through this process & can you alleviate their fears somewhat?
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
I think there are some great responses to this thread. Explaining the "what's in it for me?" perspective is an optimal way to go about this. And, to piggyback on that, it's quite effective to explain the "what" and the "why" of a situation.
The "what" is the easy part (ie- we need this retention report done by Friday).
The "why" takes a little longer to delve into (ie- and here's why: this report will allow us to better effectively spot for improvements in student retention)
And to continue on why: student retention improvements are vital to the success of the department.
And again on why: the success of the department means that the school will be successful.
And again on why: a successful school means that our accreditation body won't be looking over our shoulders.
And again on why: if we're seeing major retention issue with an accreditation body that's looking over our shoulders, they will likely place padlocks on our doors.
And again on why: once the padlocks go on our doors, you and I will be feverishly scouring the unemployment line.
If this logical strain (with an emotional slant) doesn't move them, then, well, you may need a new employee.
And, while it is often not necessary to trace this lineage back to the originator line of "this needs to be done to keep your job", explaining the "why" (although tedious) is an important mechanism to obtaining buy-in. Because without buy-in, the coaching sessions are all for naught.
